Sharpen

Isn't it funny when little details filter out of your memory, but much, much later, they suddenly reappear again, vividly. That and, what a small, small world this really is. Could you imagine totally knowing the person in front of you in line, but thinking to yourself, no, that's impossible, dismissing it, and then a month later realizing, it was very much them. And all this, because the details are starting to sharpen. Strange wonderful details. How weird, how small, how...why?

Three Jewels Yoga

The first thing she said was how much lighter I looked. And reminded me of her and I sitting in Union Square, distressed and confiding in her my thoughts of moving back home. Because...I was tired. That's what I always said. To her, to Elaina in her car on the freeway. It was the truth. Even now, if I stop and think about it - I was so beaten up and I wanted to go home.

The other day, I was heading back into the hostel and it felt strange at first. But as I was digging out my charger, plugging it into the socket, and flinging myself onto the bed, I felt it without a doubt. "I feel inspired." It was the strangest thing really. Colors. I was "feeling colors". I always wanted to see and do so many things and now I was seeing and doing things I never dreamed of before. Castles, languages, volcanos. My brain...was expanding. And, I kind of like that feeling.

A friend from Germany that I met in Rio was visiting New York this weekend, and it struck me, how awesome it is the world is seemingly converging. This is the world I want to live in! Where it doesn't necessarily feel so big,  but connected, because you have friends all around it, and it is not impossible to see them.

Catalina notes how amazing it was that seeing each other felt like not a day had gone by. And there couldn't have been a truer statement. 5 years later and really, it felt like we had just seen each other. Except...we were in deed more mature, the dreams we talked about now were more tranquil and well respectable (haha), and I, I was very impressed with her. It is my favorite thing to be impressed by my friends.

And Emily, yes, I feel lighter. There are plenty of days where I do not. But thinking back to that day on the bench, thinking back to that day in late summer where I was heading to do the laundry, and thought to myself for the first time ever, how this all didn't really have to go on - Thinking back to everyone texting me to make sure I went outside - I really am so far away from that. Thank you for listening to me and pulling me out from all of those awful places. And reminding me it's really not necessarily so burdensome to rely on your friends. Sometimes you really just have to...

So this is really just a run on. But it ties in to really what most of my late night musings end up being about. My friends - and how very lucky I am to have them. Such high quality people. Thank you for making me smile. And I'm so happy to introduce this side of me.

See you in a few.
M

What

is your dream?