The universe is so deep.

12:57 AM Michael 0 Comments

If each and every one of us are individual people with individual thoughts, and if each of us are so freaking deep in thought ability, think of the astounding thought capacity of the entire universe. We all feel things. Different experiences to make the same thing. When I'm crying I'm joined by gallons of other tears. And I don't know if tears really mean much but they certainly tie us in all our humanness. Our weak selves. And there are a lot of times when I'd like to hide from myself and be someone else, but if we could fill all that thought capacity with a fraction of more positive thought, we can make the world explode, just as my heart does when I think about how extremely fortunate I am to meet the hearts I have and how crazy it is that I have so many left to meet. And I'm excited, and anxious, and starting sentences with and. With all those people, surely there's enough to shift you the right way. I might not always like myself specifically, but all those people I know are myself, they're about of me and Michael Edwards is not necessarily Michael Edwards from 2008 and for that I love them. Each and every figure that's hurt, healed, or molded me in anyway. And I'm amazed that there is this entire interconnected, functional universe inside of us, causing us to live, to breathe, to go out of ones way to preserve someone else. Truly amazed.

Pretty Betty.

8:47 PM Michael 0 Comments

So I was just drinking this a little while ago:

and how it's funny because we used to drink these:

ew. haha but how they're really the same thing. just grown up with us. I mean vitamin water even come in green. Flavored water. lolis.
It is scad style week.

meaning professional guests, like Kelly Cutrone or Bettina the model, get to come and greet scad.
and I know how yesterday I was all about how amazing Kelly Cutrone is (and is right now) but I was so charmed by Bettina.

what a lovely lady.

and so... I totally have to show you. and i'm sure yaya maybe the guys and the girls look the same but they're pretty darn nice, with a full length mirror. haha.

I guess my only way to defend this is to promise I always have my camera, even if it doesn't always work... Welcome to the men's room ladies. let's powder.
Those scholarships are not done. And I was in the comp lab last night but I swear I get so freaking tired around work now. Isn't that bad? BAD.
this is seriously what I've been watching.

It's only partially embarassing because I love sailor moon! I've watched ALL the episodes in japanese and i'm finally starting to watch them in english. sailor neptune i swear is like my biggest inspiration. and I'm not even inspirationy. She's so pretty. and graceful. I have my headphones in the plug and not in my ear and I can hear it. this is such a weird stream of consciousness. Bear with me.
By the way! I made a post a while back of a video I was watching by Rain. and I didn't really explain... but I'm once again in a little Asian phase. I listen on you tube more than listen to Pandora. haha. The movie we watched in English today was so intense...... It's called Brothers. It's the original version of the movie. Where (if you're not planning on watching it) a husband goes to war and his brother and wife end up having a thing after they grieve over his "death", and pretty much has a lucky chance of coming back to life, but first has to kill another soldier. It covers like PTS and totally reminds me of Psy and Vietnam Narratives. Memories. I wonder whats going on at the SJC. I have to get up soon. I'm seriously like never in the room. I have to draw a back for tomorrow. In the mean time I have quite the bar set in the computer lab. Sand arts is on Friday. Maybe I'll see you there!? I don't exactly think I have any cute swim wear but you'll represent me. <3

So cute! I even tweeted it.

long post. long post. not a lot of talking though.
Anna and I are going for a picture together most days we see each other for scad style. gettin it onn. much love i hope everything's k!


12:40 AM Michael 0 Comments

I'm not so sure I've liked what I've become.


12:29 AM Michael 0 Comments

Chatting with the Blogspot.

10:09 PM Michael 0 Comments

Sundays are almost not Sundays without church. I left my bike at the library and took the 14. I've become pretty fond of Jen Library. I'm probably there at least once a day.
Yesterday was the sidewalk arts festival! and it rained. BUT, it was a good time anyway. I volunteered, but they closed my coke station down, so Rachel and I made our typical appearance on the dance floor. haha. super embarassing...sometimes i'm seriously not thinking.

my phoneee is a little scratched. fyi the dorm to myself this weekend was amazang. and so was the weather when the sun came out. I'm seriously going to miss the humidity. :) haha. just kidding? I find the savannah smell kind of charming. even the smellier days. But yea, the trip to the store wasn't that bad. It would be better if it wasn't located near the Marshalls. Then I wouldn't have to go inside. Class in the morning. I got a 95 on my skirt. Slightly disappointing. Better next time? Better next time.

Hey girl heyyy.

11:37 PM Michael 0 Comments

So, I totally sat down in Fash tech today, and of course Trish Quakenbush comes in and is like "so...any of yall hooligans watched Glee last night?" and goes in a spill about how it makes her feel young again, and refers to that cute guy, and gosh she's a trip especially when she refered to the Indians she was talking about as "not dot Indians, feather indians!" Ridic. haha. Insanity. and I absolutely love that class. gawd. everyone's so freaking pretty. I got a really good group of girls lol. ...Including me.

We turned in our skirts today! 26 freaking inches. craziness. Welcome to the Fashion Industry.
I have a few scholarships to fill out...Cannot complain. There could be none right. the Side walk arts festival is on saturdayy and I'll be workin at the Coke Distribution. So cute, so cute. haha. :) Anna is in that picture above, so clucking nice. <3 her. <3 her. Life without facebook is going well. I caved a little while ago! But I am no professional.
I was in the library a little while ago. I swear I don't even need to go there, but it's nice to get out. Think about working. You know. My pillows just fell....I have clean sheets though! gave in. and good thing. I managed to get a job at home! with sitar, and I also got one with City dance but I don't think I can do it anymore. :( super sad face. but gosh isn't that exciting. And i'll take classes at Montgomery. AND i think I just might have found a house yesterday, when we were all giving up. good things happen I swear. Wish me luck on the scholarship search! and here's cheers on everything to you. <33

"happy boy"

12:27 AM Michael 0 Comments

Yesterday was the day of silence. And I cannot say I did not talk, but it's not like I disrespected it either. It's a crazy but never ending story of a boy telling a guy that he likes him and gets hurt in return, or in this case, killed. Opening himself, and only getting punished. Isn't that so sad! For being himself. And no one should ever be ashamed for who they are. And I know I'm not one to talk, dying my hair and crap, costuming myself, but you should have a heart for yourself. The day of silence is an attempt to mirror the lack of voices gay youth, and even adults have in this world. I mean they can't get married just anywhere, share public affection without being hated, and are restricted with rules on their love. And I'll confess I didn't always be a believer in gay rights, but who am I to stand outside of a couple and say that they are not indeed, in love. Here's an attempt to protect who one really is, and enjoy themselves. Cause most of us seem to be hating on how we're already built most of the time. Much love. xx


8:11 AM Michael 0 Comments

Walk boy.


11:41 AM Michael 0 Comments

Wednesdays are usually Mondays. Except today I didn't hear an alarm. I was up 2 minutes before I expected asian harps. And I knew the phone was somewhere near my feet when I went to the bathroom, which I never have to do. And since 1:57, 6 07 was slowly getting clearer on the microwave and at a promised 6 09 I wasn't hearing them.. This morning was way too dark at first. Wednesday wasn't like Monday. My phone was all over the floor: battery, backing, front. And I turned on a light for once and ironed, and lined, and gelled and stepped out into the warm air. Today wasn't like Monday. Monday's mean when I get back from class, Steven's there, my roommate isn't here, and I'm just as closed off as ever. But instead, Steven wasn't at lunch, my roommate's in bed, and the bath roomed thickness is giving uncomfortable heat. But my stomach hurts just as much as before. And I still get nervous. And I feel a little cut. But gawd I wish I was going somewhere. And maybe I wasn't so able to use the machine today because all I really wanted to stitch up was my mouth.

"April Showers."

9:19 PM Michael 0 Comments

My computer's almost dead. I'm tired. It's really weird being in here. I'd better sleep this off, take off my skin, drift. I need to float. I'm pretty sure I'm not drowning. But I'm waiting. Like a baby almost born. We're waiting. Waiting for magic. Magic and miracles. Fairies are whispering and little lights dance on my soaky window pane. It's streaked. Things happen when they happen. Let's not control the universe. Control me. I'm a little open.


9:23 AM Michael 0 Comments

Better things can come after the fear.


9:39 AM Michael 0 Comments

Lately, I've been liking being by myself a lot. Personal mornings. Really weird. The water on River street was really pretty this morning. Being alone just helps me think a little more. Thoughts evening the biases, looking at a bigger picture. I mean sometimes I or maybe we think a certain way not to hurt someone else, or your not sharing all of your feeling because of conflict. and am i ever built to be anti-conflict. I just cannot compete. Sorry if this isn't making any sense. I have life drawing in a little while. Now, so far every single class period has given me some comment on whatever pant I am wearing.
Like the very first day where I wore some holey jeans and he said "Hey, you have a hole in your pants" to the day I wore purple pants, to even last class where he says to my rolled up pants "Michael, are you expecting major floodage?" And I am nicknamed Smokey, because he thinks I look like Smokey Robinson, and mentions it to the models, etc. This sounds so made up. But class is going okay. I'm not anything special, but I think I am trying.


3:53 PM Michael 0 Comments

April Friday.

9:11 AM Michael 0 Comments

We were supposed to have a lovely family weekend. Yesterday the drama bombs were dropped. For the first time ever college turned into high school in one night. the identical this person knows that person your friends with but apparently their slutty,slutty, which you know already, but didn't quite know they got to know, biblically your boy boy. It went a lot furthur than that just one little surface. EVERYTHING surfaced. We had such a great time reminising and put everything out in the open. I hope this will all work! ...We were supposed to live together next year, but I don't think Kayleigh really wants to, or at least knows for sure, and of course that makes me sad! We wanted to be 4 so it wouldn't be awkward 3! I'm sure that anyway it plays out it will be so much fun! Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday Grace. I swear I'm such to you and zak. I'll slow down soon, promise. or go eat at scafe!
SO, you know what? Now male/female maturing rates are so fascinating. LIKE i would think that me and Barbara mentally mature on similar levels, (if not me ahead) but everything I used to not like, i really like now. As if I had to grow up first. (...You're not going to think i'm a weirdo.)

I neverrrrrr used to like Paris. I just thought she was so not talented, her songs were obviously written for her, and her voice was altered. And she's just one of those celebrities whose a celebrity for no special reason. like I don't think she had to WORK to that goal. But oh my gosh do I ever love her now! I seriously didn't even think she looked very pretty but now I think she's pretty. Isn't it weird how opinions can drastically change. She just goes on the beach with her photo boy and makes out under blind stars. She's so cool. Love her music. Haha! I sound so ignorant!

Now I don't want to be her...but I want to be her. She's very bad, but idk I think there's something empowering to see someone live the bad life for you. Like she's a naughty icon. 1,2,3? I mean..come on. I still don't really like all of her music. They're just all too similar for me. BUT goodness is a party a party with some Britney. She's obviously a little looney and i CANNOT believe that she's a mother ever. I still remember pop star britney, 4th grade me. NSYNC goes in this category.
Another "view change":
bluberries. I had to grow into the taste. Now, i have to have an antioxidant. :)

Country Music: I remember once I played a country song and barbara asked me to change it, and I asked how come and she told me that she doesn't know why but country music makes her cry. now I used to originally hate country music, then in high school i loooved it. and yesterday I noticed to that Country music makes me a little emotional in general. And I can't really explain it. weird right? Especially since she felt that way such a long time ago.

I will however always think super cut out prom dresses are a little tacky. This is kind of like when you have clothes you don't think you don't like and then you see them "again" one day.

jasdfjlajdfa. have a good dayy! I might go see the princess and the frog later. I might also go see the last song later with the scad fam! (my opinion on milers has changed too..) ha!