I can't even begin to explain.

Adieu Savannah, Adieu

After the craziest plane trip ever, I'm finally home.

Everything is back to the way it was.

And it will be the last time taking pictures in this room. :( :) :(
I had to unpack my things in the airport courtesy of US Airways. You know when you watch the unfortunate do that dreaded thing of opening up your intentionally packed bags in front of the public so they can see your underwear drawer going in the trash can? yea that was me. Except I didn't throw away any underwear. Coming from 6 pounds over, I ended up being 10 pounds under and then I had too bulky of a carry on, and my id wasn't valid enough. Gosh. But grandma was such a good sport about everything.

Totally out dressing me. She doesn't like to go on the escalators, isn't that so cute? Yesterday me and veronica were on the road on our little road trip. Karen should know that it is SO not down the street lol. But St. Augustine was SO beautiful and so was Aunty Vee's house. She said it was 3 years since I had been there. Time gets eaten up so quickly. Vero wanted to stop at Parker's before we left, for old times sake, and a 5 hour energy. We did SO much that day it's insane, we moved all of her and makers things, before which we moved all of my and raychols things that night, then we went to sign our new house(!!), went to breakfast, the post office, Bull street station, and Crites Hall. THEN we left, with country tunes and Lady Gaga (the male fish). It was probably a good decision to not really go out that night like Rebeca suggested at 3 oclock in the morning, I don't know how I was able to wake up and respond at hour 30 min intervals of text. We'll go to Venus next quarter, Vero and I know that's what our model was doing. He was so funny! I totes had class at Panera on Wednesday. I'm going to miss that class so much!!!

We are wearing our jackets!!

Davidia: Which street should we walk down?
Anna: Broughton!
Davidia: Broughton?
Anna: Yes! Let's have fun!

...Now, I cannot BELIEVE she pulled out this book from her bag.
And later out came Hogwarts. She's Mary Poppins I swear! It was just such a good class! My favorite! good luck everyone! Davidia's going to FIT! I'm so happy for her. Veronica's mom was so nice!! We went to lunch during the scad grad. funn.
All in all, Florida was fun. They'll be more to post about, even though the "Trilogy" is over. 3 quarters down. Infinity seasons to go. Cheers. The Paparazzi is waiting. Yiruma is playing. And home does not change much.
I was watching my parents today. My, how I need to care for them. My heart goes out. School starts on Wednesday. Get rest.

I Have Dreamed of You so Much by Robert Desnos

I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real.
Is there still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth and make
your dear voice come alive again?

I have dreamed of you so much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my
chest as I hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body.
For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me for so many
days and years, I would surely become a shadow.

O scales of feeling.

I have dreamed of you so much that surely there is no more time for me to wake up.
I sleep on my feet prey to all the forms of life and love, and you, the only one who
counts for me today, I can no more touch your face and lips than touch the lips and
face of some passerby.

I have dreamed of you so much, have walked so much, talked so much, slept so much
with your phantom, that perhaps the only thing left for me is to become a phantom
among phantoms, a shadow a hundred times more shadow than the shadow the
moves and goes on moving, brightly, over the sundial of your life.

My English Paper

Darling, what are you doing?

I'm sure my head isn't throbbing as nearly as much as yours. Nor is my heart. But I'm listening to it beating inside my body, and I wonder how long I've been waiting for. Raychol's still in the computer lab, my homework is not finished, and I'm holding onto more secrets now than ever and I'm not sure how that makes me feel. This can't count as homework. I emailed the people at Montgomery College today. Classes start on the first, that is practically 5 days from now, each completely packed with it's own.
Sometimes our heart longs.
----------------------
I went out and I looked for him. Both of them. And I stepped out into the night, away from the voices, away from my friends. He was in the driveway, the trunk was still open. I let my fingers slip close to his, plastic in mine, plastic in his. Familiar. He looked. And I pretended like I didn't have another motive. And I began to make his face into something that I wanted. I visualized that pretty face and my heart sank because he was more and more not there, and who was, was. My eyes hurt. The night is racing. Advance. Telephone. Temporary. Hope. No.

M.

It's true we all cope with stress in different ways.

I suppose mine today is an increased intolerance to hearing about stress. Procrastination like this can only make it worse. I don't want to hear about what your family likes to do, or your dead animals right now or how many projects you have to do when your doing it to yourself. I need a new shipment. And a positive attitude.

30ml.

Magnolia.
Fashion.
39th.
Capers.
Roomies.
Honey Dew.
Luggage.
Molasses.
Fly.
Steam.
Production.
Italy.
Pigment.
Victory.
Caffeine.
Mother.
Clariol.
Aqua.
Bed.

For Fashion.

Kiss Kiss

And since my heart is breaking without any return of gossip girl until September, I'll have to write out the world. I seriously only post the beginning of the week and the end of the week. Today is Thursday. Oh my gosh does that ever mean I get to be blessed with the opportunity to see Zim Zim (this cannot be googled..). What a little child. I mean did he ever ridicule Veronica's work and then after her telling him that was mean, he's like "what? it's not even the truth!" and I'm like: gaw. The problem is: this is seriously the first time for me and her to even draw people and the first year ever I've been holding drawing pencils and yes some people may be gifted and talented but I swear others just need the time. AND IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD AT IT. because boy do I ever. It's just one of those wants but can't have right nows. My self portrait isn't out of the water, but gosh if I get one more 7 out of 10 i'm going to turn into a 7 out of 10 and who wants that? certainly not you j. He is right about knowing you are wrong and starting over and I do keep that in mind now. I'm not so sure a teacher should act so whiny. I don't even understand these artists.
I did however, on the positive side of the rainbow, get my sample book back.

and I did, get a 175/175! which was an amazing start of the day. I am in love with Trisha Quak. I swear, like despite popular opinion. I think everyone deserves a chance. Including my life drawing teacher. It seems as though there is a little bit of an all nighter going on in my room. Good luck to ya cadet. I just took some fun pics with Christy. Gosh my eyes are closing. I hope Jacquelyn is safe driving home. I obviously worry. Thanks for taking care of her Karen. School's ending, and I'm obviously a big baby with "bye byes" but it will be an exciting and incredibly packed summer. I'll write you notes of course. Oh my ga, by the way, I know I don't follow traffic laws but if I apologize when I do not have to, puhlease do not take the opportunidad to let me know I could get a ticket for riding on the rode like that. I mean babe, let's be optimists. Swear a run in with officer saftey/negative nel. I enjoy hanging out with Veronica, some roomy bonding. I'm supposed to text her to let her know i'll be joining her to the bull street station. I love the fashion building! and I love my class. and although I do not have the love for fashion it self I need to grow, I do love to sew, and will always feel very human and very myself for doing it. And yes, I cannot draw, and no, I'm not the best designer in the world, I'm the best myself as of now. Just as you are the best yourself. There's a compliment. Sweet dreams moon.

Baby you can live forever.

You guys are here because you want to be immortal. The only way to last is to produce, so by coming to SCAD you in someway want to be immortal.
-Afshin

la.

Whenever I call home, I no longer feel like shopping. And other thoughts.

So I totally forgot what I was going to say. And throughout the day I usually have an idea for a blog post title or I guess basically anything else that crosses my mind as a really important topic. It is fairly rare that I do write it out, especially when there is so much happening and it is best when one gets moments of verbal, unintelligent diarrhea. While the paparacchi district could cope with matters of the heart, I will continue to refrain. It's super cool when a kid walks in here, circles around and then leaves. I wonder if he is hoping people don't notice that he came in here for "no reason" like I sometimes feel. But, I'm pretty good at giving myself imaginary attention. I was in eckburg this morning. And on my way over there, it definitely found itself written on the top things I will miss about being in savannah. Waking up, putting on a sweater, and biking to the fashion building on super early escapades. And it's so easy to get so much done in the morning. I've given a little trade on the late nights in eckburg. It gets really late and I usually just ride back. I was thinking though the other day, that when I came to savannah, and still in some ways, notice that I have never so much been around the word "sketch". And I swear everything that is called sketch is so normal to me i.e. the people waiting for the public bus, walking in the night, and maybe I am just so ignorant and still to innocent of people and ill incidents and way to trusting of the night, but I've only become wary of such things because I've surrounded myself around people that are afraid of those things. And yes, dangerous maybe, there is still much magical about late night rides through forsyth. And the people here are not scary. Hobos, especially after today are in fact people with fountains of feelings. I managed an ushering spot at the fashion show today and had suchhhhh a fun, fun time. And whenever I'm around fashion, I know I'm choosing the right major. But it was just so interesting because there were so many "famous people" and celebrities, the things I want to be and hope to become, but they blended in so easily and the clear, almost melancholy reality of it was that, they, like the hobos, are people. Just people. And my mom used to say that, but the more and more celebrity figure you are exposed to the less divine they are. But who am I to pass judgments? our classes fashion show is going to be out of the water whether or not I'll be matriculating in 2012. It's just been such a crazy week. Tomorrow doesn't get to slow down too much either. I'm just not sure when packing is happening. My roommate is ready to get the cluck out of here. I'm like omgosh. Ha I have such a great vocabulary. Steven's with me. Always working ahead. I'm taking an undeserved, unfortunately familiar break. No parties, just a dyson computer and me. If some people actually find these posts and read them, gosh I swear you're so cute. stay beautiful. love you, keep stalking.

I think I might be getting a little bit fat.

Thanks to Olivia's unending pit of meal plans. It's a nice drop down. I will officially have to say good bye to the boy mediums. haha.. It's been such a weird week. But it's been extremely positive. Next year, I'll be living with Veronica, Makenzye and Kayleigh in a house on 39th street super, super close to Arnold/ Wallin Halls. It's a cute neighborhood and a cute house. It's one floor but it has four bed rooms and is all around neato. I'm excited. It'll be half of what it costs to stay in the residence halls. I swear it smells like cigarette in here a little. The week consisted of waking up late and missing classes, industry made shirts, seam books, gas station nights english papers, naked persons, and hard grading, and etc. Certainly I don't work as hard as some people and they crank awesome masterpieces out but gosh, Jason this is as good as it's gonna get hun. Sleep tight?

Hotlanta.

She's smiling. And she makes me smile. And she gushes about my hair, and blood rushes to my summer cheeks, and no I can't take the compliment. J's standing right beside me. Comrade.

Secrets. Lettuce. Gossip. Amor.

Space.

I don't know what I'm doing up right now. I'm pretty sure I'm not writing my paper. Maybe I'll get up in the morning and write it. Miss class, procrastinate till I'm dead. Unlike nights sitting in front of the computer, under the curtain with the fan beside me billowing the sheets. I'm not actually working. That me sitting right there in that purple room, with the big television broadcasting pbs, had no idea of me sitting at 4 17 in a computer lab. I'm not sure if that makes me feel happy, or sad. Perfectly oblivious of whatever I am today. Do I ever think of myself on a computer a few months from now? Will I be in a different state again? Who would I be talking to beside me. My cat? My friend. And maybe we'll sit here and talk for hours about some brilliant something. Maybe a manipulative something. And hopefully whoever I'm sitting next to, there will be some happiness between us then. Just as there is happiness who I sit beside now. In my case of chronic dreaming, I do in fact think that lovely futures do exist just as they do in imagination. Kindness that acts kind purely for the stripped intention of kindness. As well as care that lives for no reason. And attention that pays in full.

Happy Mother's day yesterday. Happy future.

Prom tips:Guys

Prom is obviously the "night of nights" and well it's May and it's also been prom season for a little while now! And in case you're going tomorrow or the next day or weekend or whatever I thought I would give a little advice for the guys. And I'll be totally honest and admit I googled prom tips before my prom and there wasn't too, too much help for the guys, while there is so much that can be said!
I went about prom in an unusual manner, and made a corsage and had an idea of what I wanted to look like(very un typical american prom male), and you have all these ideas and things you have to pay for amidst silly drama. All very masculine observations. ;) ANYWAY. no one wants to here this. Everyone just needs some help. and I'd like to think there is quite the crowd of testosterone that do care about what they are going looking as. In society's view of prom anyway, it's a special time of the year for girls yes, but it's also a time a guy can get a haircut and cleaned up and look really nice and go to an elegant dinner, rent a tuxedo, and spend some monayy. Not that he shouldn't do these things everyday...

A good attitude equals a good time.
Wear:
So hear is a basic ramble on likes/dislikes

 I swear not every guy needs to be homosexual, but gosh, fit is a good thing. Tight, tight also is a little weird. Also, I'm not a big fan of boring patterned vests. I think a vest is the only thing I don't find to tastefully patterned. They are just too flashy. And fat looking. Jk. Jk..

I think cummerbund are so cute. But they don't have to dead on match like these. Complementing is often "better" than matching. Matching looks to easy. (although we know its not).

While a traditional look like this is attractive, here's a few tips to help you stand out.
Bow tie vs. tie? Bow ties are so fun!

Ties are everyday and can be worn to homecoming, a school dance or whatever, but when picking up your Oscar, a bow tie is especially dashing. How many times do you see a bow tie apart of a school uniform? almost never, because it would be so dressy! and you are a very dressy man.  I have however seen some very nice long ties being brought to prom. Everyone looks different. Patterned or colored ties are a very nice touch if looking for color. Which brings up the point, I do in fact think it is important to look as if you and your date are there together, because its quite a little mound in highschool to go with such and such a person. Subtle matching is a little more tasteful to my eye. Instead of getting a matching powder blue tux to match a powder blue dress, maybe there are little blue florals on either the shirt, or bowtie, or whatever. And a patterned shirt is a very good thing to have. Less traditional- always better. I'm not suggesting this..

but these:

are indeed a lot of fun and I KNOW a lot of people won't agree, but some how a turn on. Anyway.
There's a lot more information out there now than there was last year. I think there's a shift in what retailers think guys care about. And at the beginning, honestly it might not be "the night of nights" because every night is and should be "the night" of "nights".
Make it one of them.

Good things:
Going in groups (make suree you know what your money is going to, and that everyone is actually paying)
Going to the actual after party
Not spending a lot of money (you can honestly get separate pants and a suit at H&M for around 60 bucks, and then it belongs to you, also H&M is a European inspired store, to help "unamericanize" your appearance)
Getting a corsage
Smiling if you're nervous about meeting the parents (they would prefer a smiling boy)
Complimenting the girl
Staying with her during the dance
Dancing (she/he might understand you don't want to dance, but one song, one surprise always brings blush points)
Take pictures!
Feel amazing.

good luck ;)


-------------
Updated:
What looks good on YOU looks good on YOU.
Have a great time! Be yourself
Don't let me dictate, these are only suggestions.

Dearest Ricky, if you see him would you please make sure he knows I'm blonde again

I don't know how I should start writing to you or if you even remember me. But I remember you, and I think of you always. And I'm always a little more ready to say yes thanks to you. And I'm scared only because I can't bring a story back with me. It's approaching a year. And I promise I'm not holding my heart as tight as before. It's so funny how easily you knew everything about me, and flattered me. And now I'm searching, and trust me I'm getting the experience out of it. And I'm sure for you too, it wasn't easy or always fun or glamorous, it's well.. a journey. And it's not that my backpacks to heavy, or I didn't wear the right shoes, I can always ignore those things. Somewhere in the universe, there's strength, courage, him. He'll always be out there, being perfect. If you do see him, maybe you should let him know what I look like. Just in case you run into him. I'll be home soon. I'm praying for you. Rock the underwear.
Love and more, me.

No more youtube videos I promise.

I was standing in 107 pressing the interfacing and realized May is slipping right through my fingers. And unlike the fusing, there's no sewing it up. It's late, I know. I'm going to have to pick up a regular bed time. Kaitlyn is so nice. Such a good attitude so late at night. The latest fashion kids. I'm sure she's done working right now. I didn't get into the classes I especially wanted. Registration was a beech-- at the beach. and yea yea, it wasn't a very positive way to look at it but when I got the email to volunteer for the Fashion Show, and saw it was sent at 3 and I was opening it at 7, I figured if it was anything like registration, I wasn't getting a slot. And it was and the spaces are full. But cheers on the show! I think the eval is coming up. Paula. Gosh I swear it's late. We'll look for a house soon enough. In the rest of our time. It was so good hanging out with Maggie and Raychol again this weekend, like "old times" and even better that Jacquelyn fits so well. :) When I think about it, our floor got pretty close, and we didn't even especially meet on that floor. I like the heat. Not inside... But it's comforting somehow.
Anyway, so what if there's this kid that you see ALLTHETIME, and you sure as heck know their name already, are you like supposed to say hi? As in I just saw you 30 minutes ago by the library and then we run into each other outside of our next door classes and earlier today. weird. I swear like my ability to run into someone over and over by COMPLETE coincidence/mistake is insane, and it's almost like I have a satellite/timer but gosh I swear I don't. My ions might need to get checked out. I have run out of children's gummies. Gosh I could eat those all day. it's so bad for you. When I was a kid (I can say that now since this weekend has been one of adulthood discovery), I used to take the vitamins my parents gave me, put it in my mouth, walk away with it just touching my tongue and spit it in the trash somewhere else. haha. wow that was pretty random. I'll see you tomorrow maybe. I might feel like posting more. I'm going to be in the student center drawing hands. I have a lot of homework I need to be doing. Class is in a few hours. Enjoy the day. <3
look at that video below if you haven't already.

There ain't nothin more GRAND than me.

My latest life.

"I'm in love- with this- song." -Ke$ha