Sophomore

Dear Andrea,

It's finished, sophomore year is over. The flood has subsided and the dove has returned with the branch etcetera, etcetera, and so forth. It was one of, no- the most difficult time of my life I have yet to experience. And that's why I wasn't too happy when it was over, because none of it is really finished yet, harder parts are just right around the corner. But I'm not looking at this pessimistically. It's so exciting and terrifying, and thrilling and simultaneously the thing to make you want to kill yourself. I'm sorry Andrea. I won't pretend I'm not disappointed in myself. I'm so sorry. When I think about the fact I am still in Savannah, I tear a little. Thank you for giving me seeds to plant, and teaching me how to give them earth. For giving me courage during every encounter and helping me know I have value. I've planted a lot of seeds. But I not entirely sure there are going to be any flowers this summer. I hope we see them bloom together soon. Thank you all you angels that have flown my way. I know it sounds entirely silly. But I can't describe a set of people who have been so, so, so good to me any other way when I have done absolutely nothing do deserve this. I've learned a lot this quarter and like I tweeted before, I've also lost a lot of weight. But what I've learned is entirely astonishing to me. The cycles of fashion, how to follow up after an interview, how to drape a collar. I've learned just how terribly envious I can get, naive I can be, and that sometimes I should be proud of myself. I can't even contain all I've learned. It's almost as if I was so empty last year. And in a way, I kind of hope I look back at now this way. I hope I continue to grow, and maybe one day I'll see flowers.  I really want to give up so badly Andrea. I feel like I'm never getting through. I'm working I promise. Working and viewing all of the sunrises. I hope you're okay as well. You've been such a gift to me. It's been one year. I don't think I'm coming back this summer, if only but a while, fingers crossed. I should stay here, and keep working. And then I can genuinely smile, no strings attached. In the mean time, I'm sure I will meet more angels, as will you. Let's keep planting. I still have some seeds in mind to pick up at Fedex. Thanks again, Michael.











By the way Ricky, I'm sorry I won't be bringing any one home again. I've thought a lot about it and have decided to become a priest, or a monk, I just love orange. Omgosh...hopefully this doesn't strike me the wrong way!! ..Jesus take the wheel. I hope to see you again! And Andrea, I'm glad I'll be staying at SCAD.