12:28 AM Michael 0 Comments

I wasn't feeling to hot yesterday. And I was going to be a drama prince and talk about it but I was like "no Michael, you cannot do 3 posts in a row." That would be rude. Lol but I guess so what. (I did not just laugh out loud there) So I pretty much just stayed in for the rest of the day, well both days now and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut up into little squares, watched my neighbor Tortoro, the Sailor Moon R movie, and listened to the sound of Hawaiian beaches on You tube. haha. I'm hillar. I was feeling so sad! But what's def not hillar is that I've seriously been a good for nothing these past few days. HOWW is today practically Friday? Like I just went to church. Seriously I do nothing. You guysss I need help. I can't get a job. And I don't want to cave and just ask someone I know for one. I really just want to be a big boy and put out job applications, go to job interviews and work at Safeway. Lol, no but really I just applied at Safeway. I can't believe I did that. This is the situation I am in. I think I tend to have over confidence. I went into Banana Republic like omgosh I love this store, but you know I wasn't so sure the interview went so well. Like I really feel like I didn't give the impression that I actually wanted to work there even though I did. I'm just so shy like gosh Miguel brighten up. The guy must have thought I was so stupid. Which well I guess may be true because I gave the call until five o clock today. They wouldn't call after that. The job training is tomorrow. The worst part is I really liked the people that worked there. Nick your belly was so cute in that Banana sweater. Sigh. It was my only hope considering its one of the only stores I can consider transferring down to savan. It was really beautiful and the clothes were great and I can't get this denim esque shirt out of my mind. BUT OH WELL get over it, blew that chance. So I went home and ate peanut butter. I swear I used to not understand the whole eat your feelings thing but after this quarter I would always eat. Didn't want to do homework. CEREAL. lols. My spelling and grammar is ridic, I'm looking at all this red in my post. Anyway. other than that I seriously apply to like every store I can think of that would be fairly reasonable. I feel so bad I'll be walking in but then the month is up and I just have to leave. Then again how do I know they wouldn't want to say good ridence. Applications are so throuhout though. How many times am I going to answer if I show my feelings when I am having a bad day? How many times? Lol I really can't believe my banana situation. An online interview, a phone interview, an in person interview and well I didn't make it to the "2nd" interview. :( I'm sad but it's a new day, literally it's still dark outside. I'm not feeling very scholarshippy right now. I've noticed that I have a fear of essays. Like I seriously kind of go into withdrawal and feel cold and depressed. haha. opps. 
SO what I have been doing with all my "free time"? I don't know how this exactly happened but I am following some pretty hhhaawwt folks on tumblr right now. Like I'm so serious. I end up going to like their 98th page reading about their life and their jobs and learn all about their friends which is all SO stalkerish but it's really interesting. You post it, I read it. I don't know. Strangers interest me. Especially when their from places I want to go like San Diego and LA. I really can't believe I'm in Savannah. I really do love it there, and I feel like I've been hating a little bit lately but I want to get out and see things and do things. And yes you can do that there. But I get so restless. and yes I know there for schoolwork but not for fun but the truth is I just want to go dancing. Not at someone else's house. Just under the lights you know. The disco. But I'm not old enough. Nor am I rushing it. Nineteen is way to old. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have already made it. That's what I want. And so brings me up to my next topic. Everyone wants to be famous. Like honestly, blogger, tumblr, facebook, twitter cannot seriously done without becoming a popularity contest. Like you end up blogging on tumblr to get more followers once you start because you like that feeling. omgosh. When I first started I honestly told myself to ONLY reblog, to reblog what is really "beautiful", "inspiring", but now I'm so tempted to make it like BloggerTwitter and post pictures of my day. Which, I may end up doing. But I feel like I would do with popularity in mind. Topless tuesdays, all of that. I'd have to be in the game. So ya, I'm seriously following some hot kids right now. Ands it's SO SO SO SO crazy when we have like the same taste in music, people, etc, omgosh, there are some dopplegangers out there. I wish I could meet you guys. If I had my way I would traavel the waaorld and go to school in different places. But I really really can't. and really really won't be able to once the break is over. I really fear my idleness because there is really so much I should be doing. I was hoping to get a job to pay for a new dressform so I could finish Maureen and Andrea's dresses, but I can't, and I can't ask for one because I have officially reached the age where I am not allowed to ask my parents for anything anymore. So no dresses. And I can't do them without one because I have become crippled by the one's in eckburg. Lol I seriously used to make dresses with a lot of Math and measuring tape. I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. I feel like I haven't done math in forever! lol bye bye honors calculus. I seriously can't do anything like that anymore! ...And that class was so easy. Geez. Ramble ramble. haha but I'm not done. 
Today I discovered the voice of Charice Pempengco. She's a filipino singer and her voice is just so beautiful! Total thumbs up. And her songs are in english so don't worry about my other language chants. Lol my parents must think I'm so weird. I legit legit look up "Gregorian/Monk/Hawaiian chants" and type it in youtube and play it and love it. That and those sounds of Hawaiian beaches. lol! (Still not LOLing). I can't believe its 12:19 already. Where does time go now, in a vaccuum? I swear it is always dark outside and absolutely freezing. I'm really nervous about this job thing. I really feel bad for only working a little while. I care way too much about what other people think it's so crippling. Like I seriously won't work somewhere if I feel like them paying me would be a burden on them even though it's like a big company. ...I also wish I could have gotten a job at Zara. Clothes would have been a nice incentive to work at those stores. But I had to suck it up and put my pride away and assure myself that I was nothing special and I can work and can get denied from working at CVS, Safeway, Harris Teeter, Whole Foods, MacDonalds, just to name a few. Tough times takes some toughening up. I really don't know when I'm going to make those dresses. I really like making dresses. It really is heartbreaking though. I really do like making dresses, but I'm really sure I want to be a designer. I feel like it's such a lie. I have no passion for becoming a designer. Passion for making dresses yes, but if I had to live without it all... I probably could. What do I want to do? Well I was seriously thinking about that in the bathroom lol and it is such a truth that I would love to be a professional salsa dancer. Some think it's fantasy to want to be a fashion designer. To me that's such a reality, but Salsa, now we are talking fairy tales. I should have just came home and become a gogo dancer. Now that's a seasonal job isn't it. My sisters are going to the Whte Hoouse tomorrow. I am spelling it wrong on purpose because I feel like security would be so high enough to pin point anyone that uses that term on the internet. Maybe I should have spelt it weirder. Anyway, I love you if you read this because I doubt any one will. It's a big boy. Good night sweet dreams I'm going back to tumble. Searching for inspiration maybe. Maybe it's hope i'm looking for.

Seriously there are some really cool people out there. 
I really need to freeze up.

ps:: LOL I posted one of these pictures on Aller's wall yesterday.
WHAT were we thinking lol! Seriously that was one of the BEST nights I've had in Savsav.