You reach deep, deep inside yourself
to find a love that could illuminate the whole world


What do you do when the most extraordinary being on earth [ to you ] does the unspeakable.

What do you do when they are too far gone.

[ Stare at them and keep helplessly loving them ? ]


Over the last few weeks, my innermost prayer has been for me to become my true self - to be the self I was meant to be.

I think we all have an idea of that self - the basics - happy, full-filled, financially grounded. 
But I think there are things we don't know about our potentially full self, because our human mind kinda is limited and so bogged down by reality. But what is reality? We can shape our reality. 

Maybe there are talents I haven't discovered yet. Huge talents. Please uncover those with me. 
Maybe there are ways of thinking - about social interactions, about love, about money, about technology - that are new, fresh, kind, exciting, and beneficial to others. I want to know those. 
Maybe there is an emotional capacity I have that I haven't yet tapped into. Show those crevices to me and help me not be afraid to use them. 

Maybe I have a respect for myself, my heart, my mind, and my body, beyond my comprehension. 

Maybe that kind of respect overflows and is good for other people. I want to be for a lot of other people. This is what I'm learning I'm drawn to. 

So many people are hurting - I want them to be un-hurt. Restored. 

I want my soul to be on fire - live like I'm on fire. Take me like a sacrifice. This will/is my prayer. 

Insta Instant

It is hard for me to assess the toxic qualities of instagram. Totally unrelated to any narcism or millennial angst - the quotes. Sure the quotes can be and are inspirational, but sometimes I find them misleading and altering how I see things. Do we see one and say, "oh, I relate to that, I should feel this way too" and see another one that sees it from a different direction and suggests a different way of feeling, so you feel "I relate to that too, I should think that way too". I certainly think there's so much inspiration and good feeling motivation out there. But I think it can be tricky when I'm so easily influenced by what I see, esp. since it seems so innocent. I'm trying to practice "liking" and then stepping back to acknowledge that my life and my experiences are unique and it doesn't have to or shouldn't have to turn out as it does in the quote. And as for instagram I should continue to feed myself "positive" images and take everything with a grain of salt. Wild thoughts.

Super Protein

49 Grams of Protein packed in an easy post workout / lunch time / anytime smoothie For this smoothie, you will need: Milk, I am using almond - 1 g protein 1 scoop of Protein Powder - 25.5 g I enjoy Grass Fed Whey Protein Isolate because it is the purest protein powder and maximizes the benefits w/o junky additives. www.labdoor.com can assist you in selecting a protein powder. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MAW6YU1/... 2 Tbsp Chia Seeds - 6 g protein 1 Tbsp Flax Seed Powder - 2 g protein I suggest Flax seed powder as optional because it can sometimes rock your stomach a little. The serving size is 3 Tbsp for a full 6g of protein. I find 1 Tbsp is my happy place. 1/4 cup of Cottage Cheese - 6.5 g protein 2 Tbsp of Peanut or Almond Butter - 7 g protein 1/4 - 1/2 Tsp Cinnamon watch this video for more about cinnamon and burning body fat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGYjM... 1 Banana - approx 1 g protein Of course, feel free to adjust quantities to your liking. Thank you for you for your support through watching. Please comment, like, and subscribe - if you are so moved :) xx Michael


The anti-inflammatory qualities of turmeric will help reduce acne, scarring, and even delay aging The greek yogurt's lactic acid will help dissolve dead skin cells and tighten pores. Leave on for approximately 30 minutes - or until hardened You skin will feel incredibly tighter and noticeably brighter. Enjoy - and be WELL :)

Surf's Up

First Time in Los Angeles!

First time in LA with amazing friends. Touring...aggressively. Thank you for coming along the ride with us ;)

#calivibes #travel


I still think there are angels out there everywhere - looking out for me - and looking out for my friends.

My dear, dear friends, new and old, are whom I am most grateful for. For lifting my spirits and piecing me back together. And showing me how fun life is. How bright life is.

Grateful for - wonderful, empowering music like...haha beyonce, ariana grande, lololol and of course the vicar of dibley opening theme. Thank you music, for giving me a sense of comfort and strength.

My parents for being incredibly supportive, I've never talked to them this much on the phone before haha.

Books, lots of books, have become my breakfast and dinner. Slowly seeping wisdom and clarity in.

I'm very, very fortunate.

And I wish much strength, patience, and wisdom in the coming days ahead.

Be still. Feel. Grow. Be good to you for a change. No more bad stuff.

Distrito Paparacchi - Summer Streets

It's been a long lasting love / hate relationship with the city I call home. Maybe I even romanticize the idea of putting all my things in boxes and vagabonding to my next destination. I think to myself, maybe some where with cleaner air next, or some where you aren't squished like a sardine on the morning commute. But the more and more I mature, the more I get this stirring sensation of needing to define and find the term "home". Should it be defined solely by the people I spend my time around, the building I live in, the city that that building is in? Is there ever a perfect situation in which all of these elements perfectly commune with one another. I don't know, but I am definitely trying to find out.

I was talking to a friend with a similar wanderlust as I. With recent excursions to Montreal, and Costa Rica, and Puerto Rico - I could feel a distinct longing in my heart taking the recollections in. What's amazing is they totally understand the itch to leave the city we are in now for somewhere else. "All the time." But to them, what's amazing about New York, is you begin to miss it - and that's how you know. And I did miss it. When I was walking along the beach in San Diego and up the hills of San Francisco, I distinctly felt so far away from home - the building, the city, and the people I love. Beautiful, without a doubt, but home, well...no. Traveling definitely was healing. I've gained inches more of clarity of what I want out of life, the people I want there, and all the new experiences I must take on the duty of opening my soul to.

So - this summer - I decided to take the act of falling in love with New York City into my own hands. Just like any healthy relationship it takes work, cultivation, and will power. So cultivate I did - riding down water slides off Wall Street, ziplining through midtown, bicycling down Park Ave and through central park, going to Broadway shows, visiting free outdoor fairs, saying yes to hanging out with new people, and getting a taste for New York City hospitality. And I hope all these actions, good in and of themselves, hopes open my heart to the universe. Tells her how ready I am for everything coming my way. And shares a gratitude that I am so, so overdue to give.

I love you New York, home now, and however long, but let's be real - you'll be home forever.


Always weird running into someone you've only just met.

How many times could we have been passing each other by - peering through the same windows, watching the same people, looking for the same kindness-es.


July has always been my favorite month. So many wonderful things seem to happen in July - and wonderful things did happen.

It was probably the most unforgettable July to date. So many things I thought to know, so many things I thought were wonderful were challenged or uncovered as an illusion. Like stepping into an enormous room of fun house mirrors and not knowing what's real, not real, and how real/not real. Thinking you're taking a step forward, but soon realizing that the floor, seemingly so strong, begins to crumble behind you.

But I always think the greatest human experience is to feel and to acknowledge how you feel. And sometimes I don't have words for how I feel - like there aren't a proper combination of letters to grasp that - but silence colors it so well, the feelings merging/dispersing into each other like liquids deep somewhere inside.

August is new. August is refuge. August is meeting myself again in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening and saying "hello" to myself and "how is your day going?"

August is saying "hello" to your friends and family, and "why haven't I seen you in so long?"

August is accepting small kindness' from a stranger, who offer to pay your items at the grocery store, or lend an encouraging glance, and being re-introduced to all the kindnesses around you. And watching all the striving we do individually, but also seeing the bumps of "keep going" all around.

You can soar high. You can go higher. You don't have to stay there. You can go higher. You can go higher.

You can go higher.

Rose Water

Music is magic.

First Aid

The most effective way to stop bleeding from a wound is to apply direct pressure. Use a dressing and your gloved hand to apply firm and direct pressure to the injured area. Hold pressure until the bleeding stops.


"Love is only a word"

Life is too short for us to keep important words, for example, ‘I love you’, locked in our hearts.
But do not always expect to hear the same words back. We love because we need to love. Otherwise, love loses all meaning and the sun ceases to shine.
A rose dreams of enjoying the company of bees, but none appears. The sun asks:
‘Aren’t you tired of waiting?’
‘Yes,’ answers the rose, ‘but if I close my petals, I will wither and die.’
And yet, even when Love does not appear, we remain open to its presence. Sometimes, when loneliness seems about to crush everything, the only way to resist is to keep on loving.
Our one true choice is to plunge into the mystery of that uncontrollable force.
Then we discover, when we go home, that someone was there waiting for us, looking for the same thing we were looking for and experiencing the same anxieties and longings.
Because love is like the water that is transformed into a cloud: it’s lifted up into the heavens, where it can see everything from a distance, aware that, one day, it will have to return to earth.
Because love is like the cloud that is transformed into rain: it is drawn down to the earth, where it waters the fields.
Love is only a word, until we decide to let it possess us with all its force.
Love is only a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning.
Don’t give up. Remember, it’s always the last key on the keyring that opens the door.

Paulo Coelho