just then a blue, jolting, silver energy exploded from the starry distance below. Like a comet shooting (into) the atmosphere. -honing right into the plane ...right into my window, right into.. me-

Booming with exhilaration, a familiar energy leashed out of me. Gold and rose, my comet shot out like champagne springing out of my anima -shattering the tempered passenger window glass, enclosing and ensnaring the bright-blue-comet-dragon. 

Dancing. They were dancing! Dancing in jubilation to see you,, friend. -To journey together again. Right there, we, gold rose magic and I, knew no matter where I am, or where I'm going, there I know you'll be. 
There, I know, you will fly into the plane and ride right next to me and leave our spirits outside to play. 


"Look at the sky, we so rarely look at the sky"

World Mental Health Day

In the moment

I'm beginning to find, the moments I'm complaining can be the most telling. Self revealing? I mean, I've REALLY been trying to have a face to face with myself the last few months.
Sure, I'm usually trying to seek the opposite - pin pointing moments of "bliss" and looking for what they are telling me. "This must be my passion", "this is what I am drawn to".

But today, instead, I have come to the realization that these are the moments I need to really lean into. The things that might cause a little or a lotta angst.
TIME. I am always trying to stop time, to slow it down. I get sad when the sun sets early. Like, I wasn't given enough time today. " I wasn't given enough time". Hm.
But it's not that there's not enough time. I have as much time in a day as Oprah.
What I am needing to practice is STILLNESS. Not even slowing down - but stillness.
Being in the moment and not thinking about the next moment. Not planning some grandiose idea about the future or being worried about needing to be super productive today so that tomorrow I can reap those benefits. What i am most needing now is to be more in the moment. Fully. Treating every moment as ever significant and as it's own. Instead of being in a conversation and conjuring up what I am going to say next, I need to be fully attentive to what my partner in conversation is saying. -Actually saying. Not sitting there translating it into what I can come up with in response. Not being worried if my response will be intelligent enough. Open your ears Miguel, open your mind, open your heart, stop the race and listen. There is the answer!
Of course, "stopping the race", that's a whole other conversation.
Be still. Be at peace with the uniqueness each moment is and brings. Maybe then, time won't be such a complaint anymore. No, it definitely won't be a complaint, because each moment has its own independent value. In this small way, I can make the most out of the day and the most out of my life. Maybe this way I will truly relish a person when they are in front of me. -that I can understand how important all they are saying and doing is. That I can understand how important they are to be and how blessed I am right there - in the moment.
So Miguel, I don't want to say this is a new challenge for you, I think challenge is to harsh a word, and I'm all for being gentle atm. Maybe....a new mindfulness. be mindful. This is the sword to conquer time. And it's also the blanket to swaddle it. Because that baby is precious.

Dream on Good

hold fast, chico <3


Can you imagine, after all those years, an upgrade. So happy to present a great go-to method to strengthening and stimulating hair growth.



Katherine sits back down in the office chair across from me.
Katherine is very kind, very wise and chooses to ask me a different question, from another direction.

"Do you think he is your soul mate?"


Gratitude October 1 -

Life - b/c it's a place to learn and develop yourself and the world around you. What an opportunity. What a challenge - again - what an opportunity.

Friends - b/c they are there to slap me when I need to be slapped. -And feed me when I need to be fed. I came home and there was food in the fridge that I didn't make myself.

Family - b/c they are resilient and care about each other. ps. - unfortunately we haven't been able to contact several members of our family after hurricane maria / irma and have lost everything....everything- homes, food, resources, it's actually very sad - but we are trying our best to make a way.

Being able to learn things fairly quickly - When I opened iMovie for the first time, I was so dumbfounded, but I was so determined to create a video, and soon I've discovered that I love creating movies. It is pure pleasure and really feeds my creative crevices.

15 September blog posts! - I took a glance back and saw the last time that happened was September 2010. Of course, I was so young and eager then - but what's wrong about being older and eager :P I have always noticed over time, after writing things and getting it out somewhere - on paper, on a blog - strangely wonderful things happen. Like the universe is like, 'yes, I have been waiting for you to make this concrete observation/'s the next step'. It's also very special reading all these letters to yourself from yourself so long ago. What a great friend you have inside.

For myself - dude you've got to be the strongest chico I've ever met, in the lowest egotistical way. I'm so happy to be on this journey with you and am so proud of your transformation inside and out.

For Elmhurst - what a beautiful neighborhood to live in with such beautiful people with beautiful families. I'm always amazed by how warm my little neighborhood is.

For having worked at Bloomingdales - honestly, there were days I was really meh-ish about working there, but man has working there developed some incredible people and aesthetic skills that have come in handy so many times lately.

For the mta - I'm kinda half saying this one hehe and saying it to welcome the future of a reliable, clean, efficient people filled subway system. Bring it to me universe!!!!

For bubble baths - boy do I love a good green tea, eucalyptus, oatmeal bubble bath.

And once more, because once wasn't enough - friends - you guys are diamonds. supernovas. universes rolled into a human body. I am so honored to have met you and to be meeting you - future friends.

Your Miguel

fill my heart with love.

om namah shivaya

"When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being - and a normal one, at that? The thoughts came up as usual - OK, so it will be - and then the attendant emotions rose, too, I began feeling frustrated and judgmental about myself, lonely and angry. But then a fierce response boiled up from somewhere in the deepest caverns of my heart, and I told myself, "I will not judge you for these thoughts."
My mind tried to protest, said, "Yeah, but you're such a failure, you're such a loser, you'll never amount to anything-"
But suddenly it was like a lion was roaring from within my chest, drowning all this claptrap out. A voice bellowed in me like nothing I had ever heard before. It was so internally, eternally loud that I actually clamped my hand over my mouth because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth and let this sound out, it would shake the foundations of buildings as far away as Detroit.
And this is what it roared:
The chattering, negative thoughts in my mind scattered in the wind of this statement like birds and jackrabbits and antelopes - they have hightailed it out of there, terrified. Silence followed. An intense, vibrating awed silence. The lion in the giant savannah of my heart surveyed his newly quiet kingdom with satisfaction. He licked his great chops once, closed his yellow eyes and went back to sleep.
And then, in that regal silence, finally - I began to meditate on (and with) God.

Om namah shivaya - I honor the divinity that resides within me. 

res. no. 2

"We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. 'I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you.'"


Actually Miguel, this month I've fallen into books -
Books can save you, can't they?

" I look at the Augusteum, and think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation. "


Inspiration Book 33

Christian Lacriox

L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle..


You reach deep, deep inside yourself
to find a love that could illuminate the whole world


What do you do when the most extraordinary being on earth [ to you ] does the unspeakable.

What do you do when they are too far gone.

[ Stare at them and keep helplessly loving them ? ]