People I admire: Brene Brown

7:19 AM Michael 0 Comments


Sometimes when I have wealths of good things to say about someone, I kind of freeze up in fear that my words won't do him or her justice. This is the case for Brene Brown, forgive me, here goes. 

Incase you have not watched Brene Brown's Netflix documentary on courage and vulnerability do it now. Next, find your self down a wormhole of her interviews on youtube about Self Love, Empathy, And feeling Worthy. 

At this point in my life I struggle on the regular with feeling enough. Oh, I am not enough to actually be good at that, I don't have enough followers, I don't have enough money, these inner parts of me are not enough, and really the list goes on and on. It's very quiet transactions. But they add up big time. Watching her videos literally puts a pause on my world. Puts the spiral of negative thinking a pause. And gives me a sense of direction regarding how I can think of myself in a positive way, and create a world around me that supports my efforts of a satisfied, fulfilled, emboldened, high value life. I would love for my life to be high value! Gosh, I'm so glad the public doesn't actually read these blogger posts. But yes that's what I would like. To be okay. To lend myself to others. To love myself. What a tall order. But I'm on a quest to get there. 

Dos chicos.

7:39 AM Michael 0 Comments


For such a personal platform, I actually talk rather little about my personal life. Maybe it's my desire of somewhat privacy, maybe it's my fair of sharing frivolous or temporal things. But there are people, there are moments in my life that I want to never forget how they made me feel, how they uplifted me, and how they took care of me. 
One night, post Easter Vigil I believe, Danny and I found ourselves in Waverly Diner and we started crying. Because life was good! But we already were crying for the future. And here we are. Stronger, smarter, and more vulnerable than ever. Vulnerable - that's so important. And it's something I struggle with. I have a lot of emotions. Danny really reverenced exercising being vulnerable. And I'm too scared to share the real me. Thank you for challenging me, and for pushing me to shoot higher, not get to comfortable, and feel worthy of good and wonderful things. Congratulations on Columbia! I'm sure we will see each other again in the future. I feel a little bit scared to go at it alone, but I know we both can! May life be good to you friend. May God continue to be good to you. 

Dwell Here

10:55 PM Michael 0 Comments

 As usual when I am here, I just feel really reflective tonight. 

Over the past few...months really.. all I've wanted was a place to call my own. A place to call home. To me that's somewhere that recharges the batteries. -Acts as a sanctuary. A place where your heart feels full. And while maybe not just that is in my hands, I am trying to learn to embrace the journey and be grateful for the things I have. Easier said than done! Sometimes I am moping around for days thinking about it. But somehow we are getting through it - and that's not nothing. 


1:57 PM Michael 0 Comments

I look way too hard to be validated by others, when all the validation I need should be done by me.

Perfect for right now

12:07 AM Michael 0 Comments

It's the end of a trip. I come through the door, turn on the soft yellow kitchen light. The cupboards are dark, sleek, modern. Put down my keys on the granite and walk towards the living room. I can see the flickering lights of the city just across the water. And I feel calm. I think this is important. I feel calm standing there in the room. The roomba whirls across the hard floors. I take off my uniform on the way to the bathroom. The cool light of the mirror takes all the tiredness away. Magnifies my life - and makes the room feel so big. A sanctuary. I love a sanctuary. My little place in the world to restore. It feels so selfish to write that. An apartment filled with all the things I love - all the things that have given me energy and comfort in my adult life. Why do things have that effect on us? And why do we always want more things. But this night I feel content. I feel enough. I feel like I have enough. I feel blessed. Is it wrong to imagine these things. To want things? I'm not especially hungry tonight. But there are some photos. So I take them to the couch, me in that big space. Tuck my feet underneath me view these printed relics one by one and remember. My friends, my acquaintances, they are all a triumph. In a world where we can't really operate alone. They give me life. In this night I think of good things, so many good things. And I feel okay. And I believe that is important.