fill my heart with love.

om namah shivaya

"When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being - and a normal one, at that? The thoughts came up as usual - OK, so it will be - and then the attendant emotions rose, too, I began feeling frustrated and judgmental about myself, lonely and angry. But then a fierce response boiled up from somewhere in the deepest caverns of my heart, and I told myself, "I will not judge you for these thoughts."
My mind tried to protest, said, "Yeah, but you're such a failure, you're such a loser, you'll never amount to anything-"
But suddenly it was like a lion was roaring from within my chest, drowning all this claptrap out. A voice bellowed in me like nothing I had ever heard before. It was so internally, eternally loud that I actually clamped my hand over my mouth because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth and let this sound out, it would shake the foundations of buildings as far away as Detroit.
And this is what it roared:
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The chattering, negative thoughts in my mind scattered in the wind of this statement like birds and jackrabbits and antelopes - they have hightailed it out of there, terrified. Silence followed. An intense, vibrating awed silence. The lion in the giant savannah of my heart surveyed his newly quiet kingdom with satisfaction. He licked his great chops once, closed his yellow eyes and went back to sleep.
And then, in that regal silence, finally - I began to meditate on (and with) God.

Om namah shivaya - I honor the divinity that resides within me. 

res. no. 2

"We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. 'I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you.'"

Eat

Actually Miguel, this month I've fallen into books -
Books can save you, can't they?

------
" I look at the Augusteum, and think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation. "

SAN DIEGO

Inspiration Book 33

L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle..

2

You reach deep, deep inside yourself
to find a love that could illuminate the whole world

Funeral

What do you do when the most extraordinary being on earth [ to you ] does the unspeakable.

What do you do when they are too far gone.


[ Stare at them and keep helplessly loving them ? ]

True

Over the last few weeks, my innermost prayer has been for me to become my true self - to be the self I was meant to be.

Insta Instant

It is hard for me to assess the toxic qualities of instagram. Totally unrelated to any narcism or millennial angst - the quotes. Sure the quotes can be and are inspirational, but sometimes I find them misleading and altering how I see things. Do we see one and say, "oh, I relate to that, I should feel this way too" and see another one that sees it from a different direction and suggests a different way of feeling, so you feel "I relate to that too, I should think that way too". I certainly think there's so much inspiration and good feeling motivation out there. But I think it can be tricky when I'm so easily influenced by what I see, esp. since it seems so innocent. I'm trying to practice "liking" and then stepping back to acknowledge that my life and my experiences are unique and it doesn't have to or shouldn't have to turn out as it does in the quote. And as for instagram I should continue to feed myself "positive" images and take everything with a grain of salt. Wild thoughts.

Super Protein

49 Grams of Protein packed in an easy post workout / lunch time / anytime smoothie For this smoothie, you will need: Milk, I am using almond - 1 g protein 1 scoop of Protein Powder - 25.5 g I enjoy Grass Fed Whey Protein Isolate because it is the purest protein powder and maximizes the benefits w/o junky additives. www.labdoor.com can assist you in selecting a protein powder. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MAW6YU1/... 2 Tbsp Chia Seeds - 6 g protein 1 Tbsp Flax Seed Powder - 2 g protein I suggest Flax seed powder as optional because it can sometimes rock your stomach a little. The serving size is 3 Tbsp for a full 6g of protein. I find 1 Tbsp is my happy place. 1/4 cup of Cottage Cheese - 6.5 g protein 2 Tbsp of Peanut or Almond Butter - 7 g protein 1/4 - 1/2 Tsp Cinnamon watch this video for more about cinnamon and burning body fat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGYjM... 1 Banana - approx 1 g protein Of course, feel free to adjust quantities to your liking. Thank you for you for your support through watching. Please comment, like, and subscribe - if you are so moved :) xx Michael

TURMERIC RESCUE FACE MASK

The anti-inflammatory qualities of turmeric will help reduce acne, scarring, and even delay aging The greek yogurt's lactic acid will help dissolve dead skin cells and tighten pores. Leave on for approximately 30 minutes - or until hardened You skin will feel incredibly tighter and noticeably brighter. Enjoy - and be WELL :)

Surf's Up

First Time in Los Angeles!

First time in LA with amazing friends. Touring...aggressively. Thank you for coming along the ride with us ;)

#calivibes #travel

Gratitude

I still think there are angels out there everywhere - looking out for me - and looking out for my friends.

My dear, dear friends, new and old, are whom I am most grateful for. For lifting my spirits and piecing me back together. And showing me how fun life is. How bright life is.

Grateful for - wonderful, empowering music like...haha beyonce, ariana grande, lololol and of course the vicar of dibley opening theme. Thank you music, for giving me a sense of comfort and strength.

My parents for being incredibly supportive, I've never talked to them this much on the phone before haha.

Books, lots of books, have become my breakfast and dinner. Slowly seeping wisdom and clarity in.

I'm very, very fortunate.

And I wish much strength, patience, and wisdom in the coming days ahead.

Be still. Feel. Grow. Be good to you for a change. No more bad stuff.