Christmas Sorrel!

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SWEET POTATO GRATIN + PEAR CLAFOUTIS

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We're bringing you holiday cheer xox

Sounding Joy

12:22 PM Michael 0 Comments

WHAT a whirlwind this month has been! And for that I am so grateful! I've started a true gratitude post a few times but every time I start and stop and think, but what else...and have to head out the door. But honestly..how cool is that.
This has officially been a year of reunions. Especially....a year of reunion with myself. Sometimes if you forget who you are, you can find it in your friends. And let me tell you, I most definitely remember who I am these days. It's so so good to see you all and hope to keep seeing you in all the years ahead.
All the joy in the world for this holiday season beyond.
I believe this is the anniversary of Distrito Paparacchi!
I so clearly remember the very first time I logged on, sitting on the green velvet couch, winter break, inside from the snow. Wow, has life ever changed. Now I'm in bed :)
Will catch soon! love you guys xx

Queens Eats

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Major eats in my neighborhood, Elmhurst, Queens!

Every time

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Every single time.

Seems

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Washington, DC!

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Scuba Diving

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Time is moving, seasons are changing.

But internally...are not the leaves still the same?

Golden Hour

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...Is really just a few golden minutes. And yet...isn't that how most (golden) things work.

How fun you've been so far, November. So, different. So...How is the year almost over?

What kind of things should we be wishing for - is wishing even fair any more?

Sleeping is better...sleeping is (safe)...let's go back to sleep.

Still

9:50 AM Michael 0 Comments

Don't we all dream...
But is it safe too?
I'd like to think so
-closes eyes.

Congrats

3:47 PM Michael 0 Comments

I had the weirdest dream this afternoon and it left me waking up feeling so raw. Who'd have thought you could have such intense nap dreams.

I believe it took place at a celebratory party... and a number of friends throughout my life were there, including my beloved sewing teacher and friend Allison. In the night it was mentioned about my new career. And being supportive as she always is, I could tell something was bothering her. It was her eyes. Even in my dream I could see her eyes. Was she heartbroken I wasn't doing fashion anymore. Her reaction was kind of in disbelief. She asked if I would ever go back to the industry. And I told her that I have been thinking that one day I would.

It was such a strange dream because Allison is a person who I know just wants me to be happy, and would be excited for me no matter what. But I could feel her heart break so clearly in my dream. It woke me up hours ago, and can't stop thinking about it ever since.

NYC SERIES - Summer of Play

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Like a flower

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Tinkerbell

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My foot had just barely reached on board when bright blue eyes suddenly widened, asked if I would like any water and in sweeping motions hands me two packaged bottles. "Please let me know if you will anything"

Mystical. Such a strong energy. Almost like you are meeting a cartoon character. Bright. Beaming. Frail. Happy. So happy.

"Are you new?"

[How would you know that]

"Aren't you SO excited" *clamps hands* *slightly bends knees*

[enthusiastically nods, I am, just nervous af]

And after other pleasantries promises to come right back.

Like a shining beam of light. So genuine. Almost unreal. Like the personality you give a cartoon.
And somehow I felt comforted. There are such incredible spirits in the world and we are made to make each other feel good. A divine appointment.

What a wonderful, super strange world.

First Flight

11:25 AM Michael 0 Comments

Shine your light really bright today.

Quality

4:01 AM Michael 0 Comments

I begin each year with a word that I believe will set the tone and goals for the next 365 days.
2 years ago, that word was "Quality". 

I wanted to begin and live that year ensuring quality friendships, quality interactions, and quality in all the work that I do. 

Lately, that word has popped into my mind a few times over and over. How can I become a higher quality man? More than a man with goals and dreams. But a man that can handle adversity. A man that has high and healthy self-esteem. A man that cares for others. I'm consciously reaching to be a man like that. 

The other thing I've been thinking a lot about is... not everyone is going to like you. No matter how much you try to be a "good person". It is a very common theme that taught to us early on. But why is it such a surprise when you encounter a situation like that. Why does it not prickle less? I think it must be I am trying to rationalize their feelings. 

Now a little over a month ago, I met up with someone who I thought was my friend, but de-friended me from social media just days before. So I thought to myself, oh this will be interesting, and they're being nice to me because we have this person in common. But to my surprise, we enjoyed each others company and felt beyond accommodated. It was the strangest happening. The lesson there was it's hard to see the full picture of someone sometimes, that I shouldn't judge a situation pre-maturely, rather give it a chance to play as it will, and that sometimes I will never know what's really going on or why someone does something, but to live gently to both parties and to see what happens. I thought this person didn't like me for some reason and I made all kinds of rationalizations: they think I'm too gay, they think I'm too fake, they think I spend to much time on social media. But we ended up having a great time. 

Again, weird. 

But in terms of being a quality guy, I've got to be open to what's going on around. Not closed off. Sure someone may not seem to like you, but get curious about it. Maybe there are some things I could improve i'm not aware of. Maybe there's nothing wrong with me at all, and you could be more present and assisting in their life. I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore. But keep on improving Michael. 

My dear Michael

7:38 PM Michael 0 Comments

San Francisco! California Series

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Inspiration Book 34

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"Breathe in. Breathe out and decide"

Intensive Avocado Mask

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Sanctuary

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To tell you the truth, my horoscopes have been insanely accurate lately. And really makes me wonder if I am just along for the ride. Haha, wonder if all the "control" I think I have is really no control at all. But I like to think it is - that we have some role in deciding our future and that the series of events that have created this wormhole in time is an ay-okay place to be.

I've been spending a lot of time in the water. Who knew it would be so rejuvenating and healing. It's become my favorite kind of therapy and past time. But let's face it Miguel, how fortunate are you to be living this life. Pinch yourself moment after pinch yourself moment. Surely this is a sign you are going in the right direction? An "omen" of some kind. Keep keeping your head up and stay positive, i'm sure everything will work out for the best. Keep swimming chico.

Matcha-rama

3:31 AM Michael 0 Comments

Castle

7:24 AM Michael 0 Comments

just then a blue, jolting, silver energy exploded from the starry distance below. Like a comet shooting (into) the atmosphere. -honing right into the plane ...right into my window, right into.. me-

Booming with exhilaration, a familiar energy leashed out of me. Gold and rose, my comet shot out like champagne springing out of my anima -shattering the tempered passenger window glass, enclosing and ensnaring the bright-blue-comet-dragon. 

Dancing. They were dancing! Dancing in jubilation to see you, ...you, friend. -To journey together again. Right there, we, gold rose magic and I, knew no matter where I am, or where I'm going, there I know you'll be. 
There, I know, you will fly into the plane and ride right next to me and leave our spirits outside to play. 


(Paparacchi)

"Look at the sky, we so rarely look at the sky"

9:40 AM Michael 0 Comments

World Mental Health Day

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In the moment

8:34 AM Michael 0 Comments

I'm beginning to find, the moments I'm complaining can be the most telling. Self revealing? I mean, I've REALLY been trying to have a face to face with myself the last few months.
Sure, I'm usually trying to seek the opposite - pin pointing moments of "bliss" and looking for what they are telling me. "This must be my passion", "this is what I am drawn to".

But today, instead, I have come to the realization that these are the moments I need to really lean into. The things that might cause a little or a lotta angst.
TIME. I am always trying to stop time, to slow it down. I get sad when the sun sets early. Like, I wasn't given enough time today. " I wasn't given enough time". Hm.
But it's not that there's not enough time. I have as much time in a day as Oprah.
What I am needing to practice is STILLNESS. Not even slowing down - but stillness.
Being in the moment and not thinking about the next moment. Not planning some grandiose idea about the future or being worried about needing to be super productive today so that tomorrow I can reap those benefits. What i am most needing now is to be more in the moment. Fully. Treating every moment as ever significant and as it's own. Instead of being in a conversation and conjuring up what I am going to say next, I need to be fully attentive to what my partner in conversation is saying. -Actually saying. Not sitting there translating it into what I can come up with in response. Not being worried if my response will be intelligent enough. Open your ears Miguel, open your mind, open your heart, stop the race and listen. There is the answer!
Of course, "stopping the race", that's a whole other conversation.
Be still. Be at peace with the uniqueness each moment is and brings. Maybe then, time won't be such a complaint anymore. No, it definitely won't be a complaint, because each moment has its own independent value. In this small way, I can make the most out of the day and the most out of my life. Maybe this way I will truly relish a person when they are in front of me. -that I can understand how important all they are saying and doing is. That I can understand how important they are to be and how blessed I am right there - in the moment.
So Miguel, I don't want to say this is a new challenge for you, I think challenge is to harsh a word, and I'm all for being gentle atm. Maybe....a new mindfulness. Literally...to be mindful. This is the sword to conquer time. And it's also the blanket to swaddle it. Because that baby is precious.

Dream on Good

10:20 PM Michael 0 Comments

hold fast, chico <3

STIMULATE HAIR GROWTH - ROSEMARY RINSE

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Can you imagine, after all those years, an upgrade. So happy to present a great go-to method to strengthening and stimulating hair growth.

XX

Therapie

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Katherine sits back down in the office chair across from me.
Katherine is very kind, very wise and chooses to ask me a different question, from another direction.

"Do you think he is your soul mate?"

Gratitude

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Gratitude October 1 -

Life - b/c it's a place to learn and develop yourself and the world around you. What an opportunity. What a challenge - again - what an opportunity.

Friends - b/c they are there to slap me when I need to be slapped. -And feed me when I need to be fed. I came home and there was food in the fridge that I didn't make myself.

Family - b/c they are resilient and care about each other. ps. - unfortunately we haven't been able to contact several members of our family after hurricane maria / irma and have lost everything....everything- homes, food, resources, it's actually very sad - but we are trying our best to make a way.

Being able to learn things fairly quickly - When I opened iMovie for the first time, I was so dumbfounded, but I was so determined to create a video, and soon I've discovered that I love creating movies. It is pure pleasure and really feeds my creative crevices.

15 September blog posts! - I took a glance back and saw the last time that happened was September 2010. Of course, I was so young and eager then - but what's wrong about being older and eager :P I have always noticed over time, after writing things and getting it out somewhere - on paper, on a blog - strangely wonderful things happen. Like the universe is like, 'yes, I have been waiting for you to make this concrete observation/request...here's the next step'. It's also very special reading all these letters to yourself from yourself so long ago. What a great friend you have inside.

For myself - dude you've got to be the strongest chico I've ever met, in the lowest egotistical way. I'm so happy to be on this journey with you and am so proud of your transformation inside and out.

For Elmhurst - what a beautiful neighborhood to live in with such beautiful people with beautiful families. I'm always amazed by how warm my little neighborhood is.

For having worked at Bloomingdales - honestly, there were days I was really meh-ish about working there, but man has working there developed some incredible people and aesthetic skills that have come in handy so many times lately.

For the mta - I'm kinda half saying this one hehe and saying it to welcome the future of a reliable, clean, efficient people filled subway system. Bring it to me universe!!!!

For bubble baths - boy do I love a good green tea, eucalyptus, oatmeal bubble bath.

And once more, because once wasn't enough - friends - you guys are diamonds. supernovas. universes rolled into a human body. I am so honored to have met you and to be meeting you - future friends.

xx
Your Miguel



8:47 AM Michael 0 Comments

fill my heart with love.

om namah shivaya

10:52 AM Michael 0 Comments

"When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being - and a normal one, at that? The thoughts came up as usual - OK, so it will be - and then the attendant emotions rose, too, I began feeling frustrated and judgmental about myself, lonely and angry. But then a fierce response boiled up from somewhere in the deepest caverns of my heart, and I told myself, "I will not judge you for these thoughts."
My mind tried to protest, said, "Yeah, but you're such a failure, you're such a loser, you'll never amount to anything-"
But suddenly it was like a lion was roaring from within my chest, drowning all this claptrap out. A voice bellowed in me like nothing I had ever heard before. It was so internally, eternally loud that I actually clamped my hand over my mouth because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth and let this sound out, it would shake the foundations of buildings as far away as Detroit.
And this is what it roared:
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The chattering, negative thoughts in my mind scattered in the wind of this statement like birds and jackrabbits and antelopes - they have hightailed it out of there, terrified. Silence followed. An intense, vibrating awed silence. The lion in the giant savannah of my heart surveyed his newly quiet kingdom with satisfaction. He licked his great chops once, closed his yellow eyes and went back to sleep.
And then, in that regal silence, finally - I began to meditate on (and with) God.

Om namah shivaya - I honor the divinity that resides within me. 

res. no. 2

8:25 AM Michael 0 Comments



"We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. 'I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you.'"

Eat

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Actually Miguel, this month I've fallen into books -
Books can save you, can't they?

------
" I look at the Augusteum, and think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation. "

SAN DIEGO

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Inspiration Book 33

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Christian Lacriox

L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle..

2

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You reach deep, deep inside yourself
to find a love that could illuminate the whole world

Funeral

12:25 AM Michael 0 Comments

What do you do when the most extraordinary being on earth [ to you ] does the unspeakable.

What do you do when they are too far gone.


[ Stare at them and keep helplessly loving them ? ]


True

9:45 AM Michael 0 Comments




Over the last few weeks, my innermost prayer has been for me to become my true self - to be the self I was meant to be.

I think we all have an idea of that self - the basics - happy, full-filled, financially grounded. 
But I think there are things we don't know about our potentially full self, because our human mind kinda is limited and so bogged down by reality. But what is reality? We can shape our reality. 

Maybe there are talents I haven't discovered yet. Huge talents. Please uncover those with me. 
Maybe there are ways of thinking - about social interactions, about love, about money, about technology - that are new, fresh, kind, exciting, and beneficial to others. I want to know those. 
Maybe there is an emotional capacity I have that I haven't yet tapped into. Show those crevices to me and help me not be afraid to use them. 

Maybe I have a respect for myself, my heart, my mind, and my body, beyond my comprehension. 

Maybe that kind of respect overflows and is good for other people. I want to be for a lot of other people. This is what I'm learning I'm drawn to. 

So many people are hurting - I want them to be un-hurt. Restored. 

I want my soul to be on fire - live like I'm on fire. Take me like a sacrifice. This will/is my prayer. 


Insta Instant

4:40 AM Michael 0 Comments


It is hard for me to assess the toxic qualities of instagram. Totally unrelated to any narcism or millennial angst - the quotes. Sure the quotes can be and are inspirational, but sometimes I find them misleading and altering how I see things. Do we see one and say, "oh, I relate to that, I should feel this way too" and see another one that sees it from a different direction and suggests a different way of feeling, so you feel "I relate to that too, I should think that way too". I certainly think there's so much inspiration and good feeling motivation out there. But I think it can be tricky when I'm so easily influenced by what I see, esp. since it seems so innocent. I'm trying to practice "liking" and then stepping back to acknowledge that my life and my experiences are unique and it doesn't have to or shouldn't have to turn out as it does in the quote. And as for instagram I should continue to feed myself "positive" images and take everything with a grain of salt. Wild thoughts.

Super Protein

9:49 PM Michael 0 Comments




49 Grams of Protein packed in an easy post workout / lunch time / anytime smoothie For this smoothie, you will need: Milk, I am using almond - 1 g protein 1 scoop of Protein Powder - 25.5 g I enjoy Grass Fed Whey Protein Isolate because it is the purest protein powder and maximizes the benefits w/o junky additives. www.labdoor.com can assist you in selecting a protein powder. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MAW6YU1/... 2 Tbsp Chia Seeds - 6 g protein 1 Tbsp Flax Seed Powder - 2 g protein I suggest Flax seed powder as optional because it can sometimes rock your stomach a little. The serving size is 3 Tbsp for a full 6g of protein. I find 1 Tbsp is my happy place. 1/4 cup of Cottage Cheese - 6.5 g protein 2 Tbsp of Peanut or Almond Butter - 7 g protein 1/4 - 1/2 Tsp Cinnamon watch this video for more about cinnamon and burning body fat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGYjM... 1 Banana - approx 1 g protein Of course, feel free to adjust quantities to your liking. Thank you for you for your support through watching. Please comment, like, and subscribe - if you are so moved :) xx Michael

TURMERIC RESCUE FACE MASK

2:15 AM Michael 0 Comments



The anti-inflammatory qualities of turmeric will help reduce acne, scarring, and even delay aging The greek yogurt's lactic acid will help dissolve dead skin cells and tighten pores. Leave on for approximately 30 minutes - or until hardened You skin will feel incredibly tighter and noticeably brighter. Enjoy - and be WELL :)

Surf's Up

8:32 AM Michael 0 Comments