In the moment

8:34 AM Michael Etienne Edwards 0 Comments

I'm beginning to find, the moments I'm complaining can be the most telling. Self revealing? I mean, I've REALLY been trying to have a face to face with myself the last few months.
Sure, I'm usually trying to seek the opposite - pin pointing moments of "bliss" and looking for what they are telling me. "This must be my passion", "this is what I am drawn to".

But today, instead, I have come to the realization that these are the moments I need to really lean into. The things that might cause a little or a lotta angst.
TIME. I am always trying to stop time, to slow it down. I get sad when the sun sets early. Like, I wasn't given enough time today. " I wasn't given enough time". Hm.
But it's not that there's not enough time. I have as much time in a day as Oprah.
What I am needing to practice is STILLNESS. Not even slowing down - but stillness.
Being in the moment and not thinking about the next moment. Not planning some grandiose idea about the future or being worried about needing to be super productive today so that tomorrow I can reap those benefits. What i am most needing now is to be more in the moment. Fully. Treating every moment as ever significant and as it's own. Instead of being in a conversation and conjuring up what I am going to say next, I need to be fully attentive to what my partner in conversation is saying. -Actually saying. Not sitting there translating it into what I can come up with in response. Not being worried if my response will be intelligent enough. Open your ears Miguel, open your mind, open your heart, stop the race and listen. There is the answer!
Of course, "stopping the race", that's a whole other conversation.
Be still. Be at peace with the uniqueness each moment is and brings. Maybe then, time won't be such a complaint anymore. No, it definitely won't be a complaint, because each moment has its own independent value. In this small way, I can make the most out of the day and the most out of my life. Maybe this way I will truly relish a person when they are in front of me. -that I can understand how important all they are saying and doing is. That I can understand how important they are to be and how blessed I am right there - in the moment.
So Miguel, I don't want to say this is a new challenge for you, I think challenge is to harsh a word, and I'm all for being gentle atm. Maybe....a new mindfulness. Literally...to be mindful. This is the sword to conquer time. And it's also the blanket to swaddle it. Because that baby is precious.