Worn a little

....I don't know why "fashion" makes me so tired unlike anything else. I feel like I have to work so hard because I just don't feel like I'm at a level not good enough. This is on my mind because, I was pretty excited, but now I'm not so sure I want to enter the contest. I'm not a junior yet, until next quarter and Carmella gave me permission. But I don't know. A silly thing like not being able to use the markers correctly really discourages me. I think I'm a little envious of the other students that seem to have so much confidence in what they are doing. That they can come in, not know how to sew, but truly seem to believe that they can be a designer or stylist. While I- am always so unsure. ..I'm glad I'm challenging myself by taking sketching. But I feel like it needs to be at a level where it isn't. And while I have made some significant progress, it's not yet enough to take me across the river. It has to be amazing. And awing. And worth calling out. And over all I just need to work harder. -And not go to sleep.